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Boat God

from Clonerib by Vaervaf

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lyrics

so now it all comes down to this
a situation of no consequence

so I slog through school
and I get my degree
and I become what the fuck I'm supposed to be
but I can't help but feel so empty
because all this shit is way too easy

they kept me there for twelve straight years
put gel in my hair and buds in my ears
the little spaz, the bastard son
shot up the class with his finger guns

now they walk up to me with this fucked up grin
as if it depends
the place you are in
pray for the government to scoop me up
swallow the pill and empty the cup
maybe i'm scrambling for someone to blame
so i sit in my chair and type out his name

it's tidied up
it's all checked out
no fuckin money in his bank account

x

guess I survived
guess I may after the next and after the grade
gave it up
took this instead
now i'm sitting in fetal position
and they
try to tell me that it's not the place
not the right time to make my name
and all i've made is a pile of wrappers
and i can't stay away

i'm flooding the boat up
spraying down with the hose
shop-vac my fucking life
and my guts and my bones from the floor

because I'm dead
honest, someday
now I'm fronds in the light of may
thought I could just roll over
and the place would be gone
i let the the fan
roll on under
the sweet breeze of... needs
and the strife's wet
until they crashed me

I ran it up and down
I am the sultan shroud
I took the good kin
I severed what was left
I clear the plates and I
cinched it up inside
but I know it's gone
and I know it's raw
I would stare
and wait for them
to sit up with the food on the plate and I would, uh
force it off like a fucking rat
rodent fuck
rodent fuck
rodent FUCK
OK

So maybe I had just a little too much
And how I'm lone s
Personally, I can rush
But I am gone to the touch
I'm not making this trip for anyone else's pleasure
and I am going through mountain passes
The time's fold
To sort up the lever, I
Dragging the adapter in a different corner of the room
Not even a room, more of a closet
a horizontal, corpse-holding,
coffin - that is where I went
that's where I lived for all of this time
that's how I'm
used to
guess I'm
I don't know
Is it like
when you roll up
into a cocoon
and become some kind of floating... flying butterfly
but I don't think that's how it's gonna be
I was pretty sure I would die
maybe on accident, maybe on purpose
OH WAIT DON'T WANT THAT ON RECORDING THEY'LL BAKER
ACT me again and that's where I was
One bottle of wine and I did this cuz
I told myself never again
Won't let me put in a bomb threat and I
won't be in somewhere when there's no hard edges
because that's where I belong
surrounded by
people who yell at me
and who want me
to die

credits

from Clonerib, released April 30, 2014

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