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doesnt matter what

from Lackneck by Vaervaf

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lyrics

bitterants confined inside
this hull designed to hold my spoiled thoughts
and I don't claim to know that
shouting down denies the things we lost

and out of rebirth
to cauterize the superficial wounds
a yearning neetling's grasp on
sustinence

i'm hiding away
the usual spieling array
of self care routines
picked up and discarded
and don't expect results
it's out of my old hands
it's gonna look something like this

do what you wasted on your mind
the pulp passion took a side
a useless parasite
you cut context tonight
a bullet taking manifest
the pulchritude that I obsess
before it takes you to its breast
you comment surface and contemptible

the rhetoric is tired
the moments of relief
composing this is meaningless
it's masturbatory

supposed to hold me closer
fist taut on a leash
response becomes anemic
and it passes in its sleep

torture amounts to this
a crumpled window dressing
constant lucidité maze

specs tight and framerate clean
you're an oyster I wedge between
you're bolstered, cold metallic sheen

synapses snap and clasp
YKK will never last
It's a sealant
It's a wall
and it's so big I didn't know this could fall
it's controlling
and it destroys
and it pulls me out until i'm not alive
x_x

credits

from Lackneck, released September 16, 2020

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Vaervaf Santa Cruz, California

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